As a parent, you want your kids to feel safe. But you also know that a little worry is normal. It's an instinct that keeps us safe. But how do you know when your child's natural worries are turning into something more? Wanting to do better on a spelling test can prompt your child to study harder for it. But developing a stomachache or severe test anxiety can significantly impact their physical and mental well-being.
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, about eight percent of children and teenagers in the U.S. have an anxiety disorder.* Experts note there are two red flags for clinical anxiety — avoidance and extreme distress. The first step is to notice signs of worry even if they are subtle. If you see any changes in your child’s routine behavior, ask them about their day. Listen for mentions of fears or worries that stop them from doing their daily tasks.
Your child may have anxiety if they:
Constant headaches or stomachaches can be a sign of anxiety, as can trouble sleeping or not eating. Also, if your child avoids school or fun things, they might be feeling anxious about what others think of them. Avoidance can breed loneliness and social isolation, which can cause more anxiety and depression.
Help your child learn ways to manage worry and other big emotions. Look for books and shows that explain worries and feelings and talk about them. Let them draw, paint or write about their feelings. Give them the tools to express themselves and cheer them on. This helps them feel stronger and more in control of their feelings. Don’t forget to move and have fun! Walking in nature, playing an outdoor game or even having a dance party together can help the whole family with their mental health and well-being.
Kids learn by watching you. Talk openly with them in age-appropriate ways about how you deal with your worries. This helps them feel safe to share what they’re feeling. Know their strengths and encourage them to keep trying new things. This helps them feel good about themselves. Most importantly, be patient. It takes time to learn how to handle big feelings. Support them as they grow.
Sometimes, help at home isn’t enough. If your child is excessively worried, get support from a therapist. They can help your child talk about their feelings and learn ways to manage worry. You can also talk to your doctor to better understand what's normal for a certain age. Getting help shows you care. Getting help early can make a big difference.
You can help your kids manage worries by recognizing the signs, teaching them ways to handle their emotions and seeking professional help when needed.
Content developed using AI and reviewed and edited by Aetna®.
Anxiety & Depression Association of America. Understanding Disorders: What Are Anxiety and Depression? October 2022. Accessed February 21, 2025.
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