5 ways to stay happy and healthy on social media

For months, whenever Sara Thermer scrolled through friends' happy photos on Snapchat, she couldn't help but feel upset. "You'd just see people hanging out together and you’d think, 'Why am I not hanging out with anybody?'" she says.

Darcy DiModugno, an active Twitter user, also found she felt bothered when she perused her feed, which was often filled with biting comments and mean remarks. Though no one directed the hostility toward her, she felt overwhelmed by the drama. "All the negativity was exhausting," she says.

In different ways, both 20-something women found that their social media habit was taking a toll on their mood. And they're hardly alone. Despite providing us with instant virtual communities and connections with long-lost friends, social media has some drawbacks. Various studies suggest that time spent on social media platforms has been associated with feelings of distress, including social isolation and depression.

But the damage that social media may inflict on a person's well-being doesn't always result in a clinical diagnosis. Sometimes, it's just a matter of feeling temporarily upset or noticing how tense your shoulders or jaw are after perusing your feed. In a world where that feed is always a few clicks away, how do you stop it from bringing you down? Here are a few tips to consider:

1. Nurture offline relationships.

Though you can (and probably do) make new friends online, that shouldn't be your sole source of social interaction. "You could have a ton of followers on social media, and feel very alone if you're not investing in friendships and other valuable relationships in person," explains Ashley Karpinski, head of clinical strategy and innovation at Aetna's Resources for Living, which provides emotional support and assistance to Aetna members. To truly nurture your social life, concentrate on connecting with loved ones through face-to-face visits, phone calls or even texts. To keep the momentum going between visits, try planning your next get-together before your first one ends, or consider setting a standing date with friends.

Sara realized that the energy she was investing in tracking social media updates from people she hardly knew would be better spent on a handful of good friends. Today, she says, her close friends take priority. "I would rather really know what's going on in a couple of friends' lives than only kind of know what's happening in one hundred different people's lives," she says.

2. Keep some perspective.

Social media platforms allow people to present perfectly edited versions of their lives that can make yours seem boring by comparison. But it's important to remember that feeds typically don't provide a complete picture of reality. The friends with the “perfect” lives may very well have their own struggles that you're just not privy to.

So what do you do when you feel the urge to compare your life to someone else's highlight reel? One approach is to simply pause, and notice the thoughts and emotions that this comparison triggers. This approach is based in mindfulness.

Mindfulness, or the practice of being present in the moment and noticing what’s happening within you and around you without judgment, “can help us to distinguish between what we actually know and what we just assume or believe to be true,” says Andy Lee, Aetna's chief mindfulness officer. It can also help you recognize when something on your feed is triggering negative emotions — and whether certain reactions are truly warranted. Mindfulness may, for example, help you realize that the jealousy you feel when seeing a group of acquaintances enjoying an outing without you may be unfounded. Perhaps those acquaintances aren't your close friends and you have other friends who do regularly invite you to social activities.