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Help for staying calm, cool and collected

There are many techniques that can help you de-stress. Relaxation techniques are often used, and they're easy to learn.

You can also take some practical steps to help ease anxiety.

Remember: However you choose to reduce your stress, practice makes perfect!

1. Say "ohm" 

Harvard's Herbert Benson, M.D., developed a simple way to promote relaxation and reduce stress.

Here's his method:

• Every day, plan to spend some time at rest, although not asleep.
• Sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes and relax your muscles. Focus on breathing regularly.
• Continuously repeat one word. Repeat it aloud or in your mind. It should be a simple word, such as "relax," a religious word or phrase, or a word like the "ohm" used in transcendental meditation.
• Continue regular breathing with your muscles relaxed.
• Feel the stress melt away!

2. Relax those tense muscles 

Learn to relax your entire body.

• Start at your head. Tense your facial muscles by clenching your teeth and wrinkling your brow. Hold the tension for five to ten seconds, and then release it.
• Next, tense your shoulder muscles. Hold the tension for five to ten seconds, then release.
• Continue to tighten and release each group of muscles in your body until you have worked all the way down to your toes.
• Picture the tension leaving your body as you release each muscle.
• Focus on the warmth and heaviness of the body parts as they relax.

3. See it, be it 

A technique called "visualizing" is a good way to remove yourself mentally from a stressful situation.

• Sit or lie somewhere comfortable. Close your eyes.
• Practice the progressive muscle relaxation exercise.
• Allow thoughts to pass through your mind without actually "thinking" about them.
• Imagine you are somewhere that makes you feel good, such as the beach or the woods.
• Breathe slowly and deeply until you feel relaxed.
• Focus on all five senses. Imagine what you see, feel, hear, taste and smell. Continue to visualize yourself in this place for 5 to 10 minutes.

4. Practice relaxed breathing 

When sleeping, we usually breathe from our diaphragm. (That's a muscle separating the stomach and the chest.) This type of breathing takes less effort and is usually more efficient than the breathing we do while awake. As a result, it is more relaxing.

How can you practice relaxed breathing?

• Lie flat on your back. Place your feet slightly apart.
• Lightly rest one hand on your stomach, just near your navel. Rest your other hand on your chest.
• Inhale through your nose and calmly exhale through your mouth until you've emptied most of the air from your lungs. Focus on your breathing and watch which hand is moving.
• As you slowly count to four, gently inhale, slightly expanding your stomach to make it rise.
• Imagine warmth flowing into your lungs and to all parts of your body.
• Pause for one second. Then as you slowly count to four, gently exhale, letting your abdomen slowly fall and your diaphragm relax. Pause for another second.
• Repeat this process 5 to 10 times.

5. Deflate your fears 

Examine your thoughts to see whether the situation deserves as much stress as you feel. Ask yourself some questions:

• What is the worst that can happen?
• Is it likely that the worst outcome will happen? If so, how likely is it?
• How would such an outcome change your life?
• Is there anything else you can do to influence the result? Or have you done all that is possible?

You might find this technique can help reduce stress to a more manageable size.

6. Learn to say "No" 

Do you already have more responsibilities than you can comfortably handle? If so, you might need to set some limits.

Stop promising more than you can handle. Be polite, but just say, "No. With the current responsibilities I have, I cannot take on more at this time."

Practice makes perfect!

7. Manage your time 

Planning helps reduce stress. One way to manage your time is to set priorities. Write a to-do list and schedule time to work on top priorities first. This can help you get the most important tasks done, while controlling the stress you feel about them.

8. Eat right 

Many of us reach for a favorite comfort food when we are stressed. Chances are, it's high in fat, sugar or salt. From a health perspective, your comfort food can be bad for your health.

Several studies suggest that a good diet may reduce stress. And eating right might also help you feel better about yourself!

9. Get active 

Many studies show that exercise can reduce stress. For maximum effect, try an aerobic exercise, such as running, swimming or brisk walking, for 20 minutes or more. If you can't do that, even a 10 minute walk can help.

How does it help?

• Exercise reduces stress partly by turning your attention away from the causes of your stress.
• It has a calming effect, reducing emotional upset and improving concentration.
• You feel good about exercising, so it improves self-esteem.
• Working out also helps counter possible diseases that are made worse by chronic stress, such as heart disease.

10. Reach out 

Talking about problems with someone you trust helps relieve tension. You may prefer a larger community, such as a spiritual group, an interest or hobby group, or a sports team.

Happy hour might not be the best way to reduce stress. Having a glass of wine with dinner might have health benefits, but excessive alcohol consumption can make matters worse.

And stay away from situations that make you feel uncomfortable or that reinforce unhealthy habits. Those might add to your stress.

11. Give therapy a chance 

You might continue to feel overly stressed. Consider talking with a therapist about how to:

• Improve your ability to cope with stress
• Better handle conflicts, manage anger and communicate with others
• Approach problems that cause stress

A therapist can help you to understand how thoughts influence your stress level. You can learn to change your thoughts and your experience of stress.

If anger is a problem, a therapist can teach you to be more aware of its cause. You can work with a therapist to learn how to express your anger more constructively.

And if your chief source of stress is a relationship at home, try couples therapy or family therapy.